“Tragic,” Raj said, leading him past a warehouse labeled Fake HD Rips . “They don’t have it. Nobody does. The only copy is on a DVD-RW sitting in the back of a Lamington Road shop in Mumbai. What we do have is a copy of Tiger Ki Aankhen from 1997, which is a documentary about cataract surgery in Bhopal. But we’ve renamed it.”

Arjun opened his mouth to argue, but the green terminal window flickered again.

Trucks labeled “Storage Unit A: 2003-2010” were on fire. Extras dressed as generic “item girls” and “angry uncles” wandered around holding signs that said “Seeding Required.” In the distance, a giant screen showed his own face, frozen mid-yawn, with a timer: Time wasted today: 2h 14m.