Use a small toy (or pinky finger) with tons of silicone lube. Insert just 1cm. Hold. Breathe. The sensation is intense pressure. Have your partner push out gently (like having a bowel movement) as you insert—this actually relaxes the muscle.
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You need hygiene awareness, not a medical procedure. A quick shower and a finger check is usually enough for most spontaneous sessions. For deeper play, a simple rinse is fine—but obsessing over perfection kills the mood. Use a small toy (or pinky finger) with tons of silicone lube
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Once the toy/finger moves easily, try a small dildo or a penis. Have your partner control the depth by sitting on top of you (cowgirl). They control the pace. You stay still.
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