Kaan Oopsfamily: Ophelia

“I’m Ophelia,” she said.

Ophelia’s eye twitched. A week? With twenty-three strangers? She pulled out her tablet and began drafting a schedule. Day one was chaos. Priya tried to administer basic health screenings to everyone. Jasper and Juniper challenged the group to a pancake-eating contest, which ended with Gerald’s wooden leg coated in syrup. Mateo revealed he was a professional mime and “performed” a piece about the existential dread of discovering one’s father had been a philandering ghost. Clover cried because no one would tell her where the treasure was hidden. ophelia kaan oopsfamily

“Twenty-four,” she said. “The youngest, apparently.” “I’m Ophelia,” she said

But the solicitor continued: “Your father was a founding member of the Oops Family Registry. It’s a private organization for individuals who discover, later in life, that they have biological relatives they never knew about. In his case, it seems there were… several.” With twenty-three strangers

Ophelia laughed, a short, sharp sound. “How many are we talking?”

“Yes,” Ophelia said, laughing. “You can have the turtle.”