The Frank And Beans Quandary [cracked] -

There was a loose baseboard near the floor register. Frank pried it off with a butter knife. Two beady, accusatory eyes stared out from the darkness. Beans was wedged between the studs, coated in chili, vibrating with a kind of profound, furry fury. He looked like a mutant hot dog that had lost a fight with a blender.

Frank did the only logical thing. He retrieved a can of tuna, a pair of oven mitts, and his neighbor, a quick-witted paramedic named Sheila who had once extracted a hamster from a vacuum cleaner. the frank and beans quandary

The quandary was this: Frank had to find Beans before the ferret either (a) died of capsaicin overdose, (b) smeared chili onto every porous surface in the apartment, or (c)—most pressingly—crawled into a heating vent to die, which would perfume the entire house with the smell of rotting ferret and ghost pepper chili for the rest of the summer. There was a loose baseboard near the floor register