The Seussification Of Romeo And Juliet Script Work [VERIFIED]

A Happily-Ever-After-ish Tale of Two Who-zits and a Whole Lot of Nonsense

She’s dead! My Gazelle-ette! My Zazz-Frazzle-Zoo! Well, I’ll just drink poison and be dead with you too! (He drinks a bottle labeled “POISON – Tastes Like Glue.” He falls over.)

You Montague doodle-head! Scallion-fish-bait! You ruined my party! You ate off my plate! MERCUTIO-GOOSE (jumping in front): Stand back, Romeo-Zoot! This fellow’s a prune! I’ll fight him with spoons and a three-headed baboon! (They fight. MERCUTIO falls. He looks up, very dramatic.) the seussification of romeo and juliet script

I’m sadder than socks with a singular hole. I’m glummer than glub-glub who swallowed a coal. For Rosaline-Winifred-Who doesn’t care! She looked at my heart and said, “Nope! Not in there!” MERCUTIO-GOOSE (popping up, doing a flip): Oh, piffle! Oh, poppycock! Snickle-snack-snooze! You’re rhyming with gloom in your oversized shoes! Let’s sneak to the party! Let’s bounce on a chair! Let’s dance till our toenails grow curly green hair! (SCENE TWO: The Party, which looks like a blender threw up confetti.)

THE SEUSSIFICATION OF ROMEO AND JULIET

I’m supposed to meet Paris, a boring old bear. He brings me lint-covered gumdrops to wear. But I want a Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz! A real Zing! Someone who’ll dance on a hot buttered spring! (Their eyes meet. A CHOIR OF SMALL FUZZY THINGS sings “Doo-dah-doo.”)

You kids want to marry? Well, how about that? I’ll mix you a potion from a smoozled old bat! One sip makes you sleepy. Two sips makes you snore. Three sips makes your toenails grow right through the floor! (SCENE FOUR: The BIG MESS. A fight. Then a bigger mess.) A Happily-Ever-After-ish Tale of Two Who-zits and a

A plague! A big plague! On both of your houses! May your pillows be lumpy! May your cows moo like mouses! I’m done for! I’m finished! I’ve stepped on a rake! Goodbye! I’m off to make glittery cake. (He exits, carried away by birds. ROMEO fights TYBALT. TYBALT falls.)